Music and Babies: Bonding, Love, and Wisdom

Nearly all civilizations and cultures have songs to help soothe or calm newborns and infants, also known as lullabies. Lullabies not only help strengthen the connection between caregiver and child, but are also musical accounts of cultural knowledge, words of wisdom, and  important language learning tools. While this post focuses mostly on babies, know that lullabies can be meaningful for children of all ages, teens, adults and elders.

The Science of Lullabies

Music has a special effect on infants. Fetuses grow in acoustically rich environments: hearing water-like sounds of the womb, a steady heartbeat, and the voices of their parent(s). Newborns have yet to acquire verbal language, and instead communicate via different cries, cadences, tones, and vocalizations. We all intuitively coo when talking with our babies, and go back and forth with babble rather than words. The soothing, gentle sound of simple, repetitive lullabies provide children with a sense of calm, predictability, rhythm, and recognition.  

While many forms of lullabies exist, there are some typical traits commonly associated with lullabies. Often they are written in 3/4 or waltz time, to align with a soothing rocking motion. The tempo tends to be between 60-80 beats per minute, much like the tempo of the resting heart rate of an adult. The melodies and motifs within the lullaby are usually repetitive, and chord progressions are often simple, relaxing, and predictable. The lyrics of lullabies tend to revolve around love, hope, magic, history, culture, and warnings. 

Singing for Connection

Lullabies are deep parts of our cultural narratives and we intuitively know how they support bonding, relaxation and sleep for infants. In addition to this intuitive knowledge, there is a wealth of research about how lullabies scientifically support childrens’ health and family life. There is amazing evidence showing how lullabies and the process of writing lullabies for our children before birth can create a strong, deeply felt bond even before birth. Babies have been shown to engage and respond positively to a parent’s singing of a lullaby they heard in utero. For more, check out these fascinating books on the musical journey children take from womb to the outer world:

1. The Secret Life of the Unborn Child (1982) by Thomas Verny

2. Windows to the Womb (2013) by David Chamberlain 

3. Pre Parenting (2003) by Thomas Verny 

4. The Wonder of Prenatal Education (2017) by Chong Chen  

5. Parenting Begins Before Conception (2000) by Carista Luminare-Rosen 

6. A Musical Journey Through Pregnancy :  Prenatal Music Therapy by Gabriel Federico (2017)

Finding (or Creating) a Lullaby

Babies respond best to songs sung by those they love (as compared to professional musicians or recordings). We intuitively know what helps babies calm: songs that are soft, predictable, and of a slow or moderate tempo. Within these parameters, almost any song, poem, or story can be adapted into a lullaby. Here are some places to start:

Your Childhood Songs: Start with the lullabies from your own childhood, like “Twinkle, Twinkle” (England) or “Duermete Mi Niño” (Spain). Or, explore traditional lullabies from other countries, such as found on this Spotify user’s playlist.

Lullabies by Kids’ Artists: Popular kids’ artists, like Raffi (try Baby Beluga) or Laurie Berkner (try Moon Moon Moon), write aesthetically beautiful and unique lullabies.

Lullabies by Music Therapists: Music therapists draw upon their musical and developmental knowledge to write music for babies in various developmental stages. Check out songs by Raising Harmony or Chirp!

Adapt a Poem: Many lullabies start as poems or nursery rhymes. Take your favorite poem and turn it into a song, like Dany Rosevear does for “Bedtime.”

Transform Your Favorite Songs: Think of a favorite song with words that remind you of your baby. Sing it softly and slowly, and you now have a lullaby. A quick Google search will show many lists of song possibilities, like this one with artists like Soundgarden, the Beatles, and Death Cab for Cutie.

Write Your Own: Writing a song is as easy as writing a poem or letter. For your little one, think of the messages you want to convey. What do you want them to know about you, the world, their family, your love for them? Write it down and sing whatever comes to you. If coming up with the music feels intimidating, you might try singing the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle” or another familiar song. Remember--as long as it’s coming from you, it’s perfect. Music therapists and other music professionals are also available to help you craft the perfect lullaby for your baby, with prenatal and postpartum services like Wombsong or Soundbirthing.

Music for Your Baby’s Health

Music is a vital part of a baby’s life, supporting development, bonding, and physiological health. Gentle, soft, and predictable songs can help babies calm and regulate. Whether you write your own, softly sing one of your favorite songs, or use a traditional lullaby, the sound of your voice is the most important. We intuitively know the health benefits of music for infants (and ourselves) and medical research supports this knowledge. Singing with a baby activates their capacity to learn, connect, and self-soothe, and brings joy and comfort to all.